After the devastation of losing a loved one in separate motorcycle accidents, Sara Saunders and Helen Collins were both looking for answers to help them, and their families, deal with their grief. They were helped by our Patient and Family Aftercare Service and have gone on to provide each other with peer support as they continue to cope with their loss. Here they explain how important that support has been to them.
Saraโs story
After my ex-husband Lee, father of my two children, died in a motorcycle accident I felt I needed to get involved with Air Ambulance Charity Kent Surrey Sussex (KSS) to help with my grief. Because KSS had tried to save him, I felt a strong connection with the charity and became a volunteer.
That led to my contact with the Patient and Family Aftercare Service at KSS. Straight away I felt like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
Meeting people from KSS really mattered to me. It was important to get all my questions answered, and I wouldnโt have got those answers without the KSS Aftercare Team. If I hadnโt had that, I know my mental health would have suffered really badly.
Having had support myself, I wanted to help anyone else in that situation in any way I could. Unless you have lost someone in those circumstances, you canโt really know how someone is feeling inside, but with the right support, you can get through it.
Meeting Helen, once Sarita had introduced us, was the best therapy ever because I could say exactly how I was feeling. Helen was in a similar position, so I didnโt have hold anything back or pretend that everything was okay.
Knowing that Helen is there, along with Sarita and Stu from the Aftercare Team, means that if I am having a bad day and need to talk, I donโt have to explain anything, they just know.
The peer support between Helen and I has been helpful, because no-one can fully understand what you are going through unless they have been in that exact situation. I canโt talk to anyone else about this in the way I can talk to Helen. Other people care, but they canโt understand exactly what you are going through. After our first meeting it felt like there was a bond between us because of what we had both experienced.
Helenโs story
My husband Andy was 54 years old when he died in a motorcycle accident. We have two children, and on the day of my sonโs 23rd birthday, Andy was diagnosed with a rare terminal form of cancer.
It was quite an aggressive cancer, and he started to feel poorly quite quickly from the chemotherapy. However, he still able to get on his motorbike and was a member of a motorbike club.
He was an airport driver and on 26 March 2022 he was due to be driving someone to the airport, but they cancelled at the last minute. He came upstairs and said he was going to go out with the lads from the club.
I was told by the police that Andy lost control of his bike miles from home and had passed away.
Later I learned that Air Ambulance Charity Kent Surrey Sussex (KSS) had been called to care for him. Along with the fact that Andy had previously supported KSS, that gave me a feeling of connection to the charity.
I learned about the KSS Patient and Family Aftercare Service from a lady whose late husband had also been cared for by KSS. My initial thought was that nothing would make the pain I was feeling go away.
After looking at the telephone number for about three months, I eventually rang and I am so glad that I did.
When you lose someone suddenly like I did, youโre desperate for connections and I really appreciated the connection with KSS.
One of the things that was important to me was to get as much information as possible about what happened. I wanted to understand exactly what Andyโs injuries were so that I could fully understand that there was no way he could have survived. Not everyone would want that, but it really helped me.
After meeting with Ruth, the doctor that treated Andy, I had no concerns or doubts that Andy had received the best care. That was a big moment. Although they couldnโt save him, they didnโt stop trying. I felt I needed all the information I could possibly get about what happened to him and what was done for him. Thanks to the KSS Patient and Family Aftercare Team Iโve been able to do that.
After meeting Sara for peer support, I felt as if Iโd done something positive, because at the time everything felt so negative. It was good to be able to offload to somebody who knew exactly where I was coming from and was able to reassure me. I also felt Iโd helped her in return.
I think my mental health would have suffered if I hadnโt had the answers, Iโve had from speaking to the Aftercare Team. I needed as much information as I could get. If I hadn’t had that, I probably wouldn’t have been able to move on as far as I have. I think I’d have still been stuck in the same stage of grieving.
Help from our Patient and Family Aftercare Service
Our aftercare service supports former patient, family members of a former patients, bereaved family members, bystanders and emergency service colleagues. If there’s anything you think we can support you with please contact our Patient and Family Aftercare Team by clicking here.
